Sunday...

Today was my first Sunday spent NOT doing homework...I have decided that this year I am going to set aside Sundays to focus on ministry, God, and friends. I never set aside time for myself, and I have realized that this is really necessary....really necessary... Today I read (for pleasure) while listening to classical music...I reflected on the reading, which was all about becoming a more godly woman...boy do I have a long way to go! :)

I journaled a lot, and spent some quality time with God. I then had coffee with a dear friend of mine, Paige, who I haven't seen in months...and we've decided to meet every Sunday. She is such an amazing person, and we are going through so much of the same stuff! I can't wait to continue to get to know her better. It was a restful day, and I have realized that this is how I want to spend my Sabbath every week. So I am going to! No studying on Sundays. Period. I will study on Saturdays, but not Sundays.

Paige tonight also gave me the greatest analogy for what I've been learning over the past week or so. I've been realizing that as much as I'd love to be married, or even dating, I am far from ready. FAR. There are many issues that I have to work through (and will be going to counseling for, actually), and I really need to just focus on me for awhile...then I can be "whole" and more able to give myself fully to another person.

She said that her mom always says that we're like a cupcake: you have to have certain ingredients, with just the right amount, in the mix before the cupcake can be "perfect." With too little sugar, or too much flour, it just won't taste right. Once all the ingredients are in there, the cupcake is ready to be frosted. The frosting is the men that we girls will marry someday...if you put the frosting on too soon, the cupcake will crumble. And even when the frosting is added, you are still able to stand on your own, because you are whole.

WOW! It was exactly what I needed to hear, to solidify in my mind what the Lord has been showing me. There are so many things I need to work on that I don't even want to think about dating for a long time...I'm not ready.

My cupcake mix is not complete...And that is definitely hard to admit--but I am so thankful that I am able to accept this fact so that God can continue to work on me and mold me into the woman He desires for me to be.

So, my senior year is going to focus on reaching that goal...becoming whole. It could take longer than this year--and that's okay. It is so important that I heal from these issues, and that I become who God wants me to be, before I become involved with the man I will marry someday--whoever that may be.

Praise the Lord for His patience and His unconditional love...